While using the term break up, it implies that we are talking about a breakup with a partner. But here I am going to talk about breakup with friends. Friends breaking up is not easy to deal with. In this blog, we will discuss how to recover and move on from a friend breakup.
Friends Break Up: How To Recover and Move On From It
Humans tend to make connections in their whole lives from childhood to adulthood till they die. We make friends in school, college, and work. While some friendships last for life, some are only for a season. If you have true friends in life then consider it as a blessing of God.
Sometimes shifting to other cities for college, studies, and career creates a distance. But some friendships still survive distance and grow stronger even when you have not met them so regularly in person. Well, this is a common phenomenon in life.
But sometimes, friendships end due to other reasons like one betraying another, change in behavior, and other things.
Getting over a friendship breakup is not easy especially when you have been friends for a long time and shared a great rapport.
As you two shared some good and bad times, the ending of a friendship feels like an itch. But if there is nothing left to bring you two together again, it’s time to move on.
A friendship breakup leaves a void in life. When you lose trust, it’s difficult to trust someone on that level.
In that case, you need to give yourself time to process what happened and move on in life.
Here in this blog, you will get to know how to recover and move on from a friend breakup.
Causes of Breakup With Friends
Friends are the first relation in life that we choose ourselves. Friends make life easy. There is so much going on in our lives, so many issues we face like career issues, rejection, and blah blah. In those times, friends cheer us and boost our mood.
But that’s not always the case. Sometimes friends hurt us so much that we have to break ties.
Some friendships don’t last long. They are only for a time being in our lives.
Here are a few reasons why friends break up with each other:
1. Break of trust or betrayal by a friend. Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Nothing is left when trust is broken.
2. Feeling disconnected with others.
3. An imbalanced friendship where one is constantly taking and not into giving.
4. One constantly belittles the other.
5. Change in values.
6. Constant fights between you two.
7. Once close, sometimes you grow apart in life. Your priorities and interests change with time.
8. You don’t tell them if something is bothering you about them. Maybe you are right or if it is a misunderstanding, still you don’t clear it. In both cases, it will create the distance between you two.
9. Support is not there in the friendship.
Impact Of Friends Break Up
Generally, people think that a breakup from a partner is hard and difficult to cope with. Sometimes it takes many years to move on after a breakup.
But breaking up with a friend is also emotionally draining, especially when you were very close and friends for a long time.
It can impact you for a long time and create a void in your life.
1. Loss of Support System
Friends are the savior during difficult times. Even having a single friend to talk to gives a sense of belonging to us. And when you lose that support system, it creates a void in life.
2. Start Assessing Your Other Friendships
When a breakup happens due to betrayal, you start to evaluate your other friends. What if they do the same with you? If you don’t tackle this feeling correctly, it can create distance from other friends too.
That’s why it’s good for you if you stop judging others on this basis.
3. Emotional Turmoil
Losing a friendship is tough to deal with. It will make you angry and sad at the same time. Constant thinking about what went wrong will start replay of scenarios in mind. Thoughts like Is it your mistake, what if I have reacted differently that time, can take you on a guilt trip even when it’s not your fault.
4. Mental Health
In the school surroundings and then in adult age, we have only friends to talk about anything and we need someone to lean on. But when you lose it, you will feel rejected and dejected. It can also cause abandonment issues. You start analyzing your self-worth.
Loneliness can cause stress. In case if you have only one or two friends, and you break up with them, then it can cause a feeling of extreme loneliness. Also overthinking the causes can result in emotional buildup.
As per studies, high-quality friendship can protect kids and adults from mental health issues. When you are alone it first affects your mental health when you face life issues.
Reasons You Are Unable To Move On
We value our friendship so much that sometimes you are unable to grasp the fact that you two are no longer friends. You are unable to process why it has happened, why they left you, and why you two are not close anymore.
Here are a few reasons that are stopping you to move on from this thing:
1. You still want things to become better between you two.
2. You’ve shared good and bad times and built each other up. It’s difficult for you to imagine that they don’t exist in your life anymore and vice versa.
3. Friendships are built on emotional connection. You’ve invested so much of yourself in it. When you lose it, it feels like you’ve lost a part of yourself.
4. In romantic relations, we talk and complain whenever we have any problem. But that’s not the case with friends. If one feels neglected, they don’t tell the other and just drift apart.
5. You are still friends with them on social media. Whenever their post appears on your feed, you start thinking about them.
Tips to Move on From a Friend Breakup
1. Stop replaying the scenarios in your mind. Give yourself a break.
2. Don’t try to amend the things, if it’s only you who are trying to patch up.
3. If it’s majorly your mistake, apologize.
4. Give yourself some time to process what has happened.
5. Don’t be too critical of yourself. Continuous ranting is not good for you.
6. If need be, you can unfollow them from social media. Sometimes memories on these apps constantly remind you of themselves.
7. Be a good friend to yourself first, treat yourself the way you want your friend to treat you. In this way, you will self-evaluate yourself. If you don’t like something about yourself, then work on correcting those about you.
8. Never take responsibility for another person’s actions.
9. If it’s your fault, take responsibility so that you don’t repeat the same mistake in the future.
10. If you are unable to calm yourself, write down your feelings to let go of negativity. Let your heart out fully and let the thoughts flow on paper.
11. If you have their gifts or things that constantly remind you of them and making difficult to stop the cycle of ruminating thoughts. You can keep those gifts at a place which you don’t use often. You can also give them away.
Steps to Move on from a Friend Breakup
Moving on is not a one-day task. It requires consistent effort to heal yourself and recover from it. You can’t stay stuck in the past for long, you need to move on.
Here are 8 steps to move on from a friend breakup:
1. Allow Yourself To Feel
It’s natural to think about it and feel bad about the situation. There is a range of emotions built up inside when this happens. To overcome it, it’s essential to understand how it is making you feel.
If you avoid your emotions totally by keeping yourself busy all the time, they’ll bottle up inside you and mount up. Give yourself time to process these feelings. It will help you to accept the reality and heal yourself.
2. Talk To Someone
Talk to someone in your family or another dependable friend. Talking about your feelings will help you to release them. By sharing you will comfort yourself. Talking to them can also provide you with a different perspective of the situation.
3. Focus on Yourself
Engage in activities that promote self-healing. Give yourself a break and go for a short trip. Give more time to your hobbies. Just going on a walk can help you to clear your mind.
If the feelings are mounting up and you are unable to handle them, write them on paper, tear them, and throw them. You will feel some burden has been lifted from your head.
4. Forgiveness
If it’s your friend’s fault, then forgive them. I am not saying to tell them in person or patch up with them. Forgive for your own sake.
When you want to move on and let go, the first thing required is forgiving. Forgiving the other person, helps you to heal and recover from the pain caused. It takes time, but do it. You’ll find it is worth it.
Forgiving others allows you to slowly release yourself from the anger that is raging under you.
5. Reflect and Learn From It
Self-reflecting with a clear mind on what went wrong can help you to understand the situation clearly. You get to know what kind of behavior is tolerable, what lines to draw, and what kind of friendships you want in life.
Did you grow apart, was it a misunderstanding, is there a communication gap between you two? You will figure out how to avoid such things in the future. Whatever it is, if you find the answer don’t obsess over it too much.
6. Nurture Positive Relationships
As per research, people who have strong and supportive friendships are more satisfied in their lives. Spend more time with people who care for you and are supportive. Invest your time and energy in those people.
Having supportive and positive relationships around you will help you to look at the better side of your life. They’ll always be there to cheer you up.
7. Form New Habits
You have formed some habits with that friend like going to a specific place together. Now that place reminds you of them. If you constantly think about those things you two do together, you’ll be unable to move on. So it’s time to build new habits.
8. Make New Connections
I am not saying to push yourself to talk to new people. Let things go effortlessly. You can join a group related to your hobbies like solo traveling or book reading.
Like if you join a group of solo travelers, you’ll get to meet new people. Let the conversation flow by itself. You’ll build new connections and as you engage in the same activity together it will help you to create new bonds.
Talking to them will provide you with a different perspective toward things. I know it’s not easy but it’ll help you to rebuild your lost trust.
Coping Strategies for Dealing With a Friend Break-Up
Others will say, let’s forget and move on. It’s Life. But it is easier said than done. It’s not easy to move on. Dealing with this can take a toll on you. Here are a few coping strategies that can help you navigate through this difficult time:
1. Journaling
Write down all your thoughts and feelings in a journal. This can help you process your emotions and clear your head. It will help you to gain clarity on the situation and how to proceed further.
2. Engage in Activities
Focus on activities that bring you joy and help in distracting your mind from negative thoughts. It can be anything: painting, playing an instrument, listening to music, dancing, or hiking. Engaging in some activities allows you to refresh your mind and recharge yourself again.
3. Practicing Mindfulness
You can do mindfulness practices like meditation, deep breathing exercises, or healing yoga. These will help you to stay present and emotionally stable during moments of emotional distress.
You will feel all the emotions while doing these practices and then it gets released from you through crying.
4. Setting Boundaries
If you find yourself constantly overthinking about friendship or feeling overwhelmed by reminders of the past. Then it’s time to set boundaries. Remove triggers around you that constantly remind you about themselves like their photos. If you two have mutual friends, then clearly tell them that you don’t want any discussion regarding it when you are with them.
5. Seek Professional Support if Needed
If you are unable to do it alone and talking to someone is not helping. If you are unable to get over the feeling of sadness, don’t hesitate to seek professional support. A therapist or counselor can provide guidance and coping strategies to deal with those emotions.
They will provide you a safe space to process your emotions. They can also help you explore patterns in your relationships and guide you to develop healthy friendships while moving forward. You will also be able to build a healthy relationship with yourself.
Seeking help doesn’t mean you are weak. It is a sign of strength and resilience.
Conclusion
A friend’s breakup is tough and emotionally exhausting. But, it’s not the end of the world. Be patient with yourself and give yourself the time and space to heal.
You need to understand the reasons for falling out, allowing yourself to feel, self-reflecting, and accepting things will help you to heal. Seek support if needed. You will rise from this phase.